Mr. Perfect
Every moment in our lives has a meaning and most times we can overlook what those meanings are. Everyone has experiences that change the way we look at life and give us experiences that we can take with us and learn from. One experience I have learned from was discovering peoples true colors and coming to the realization that even someone you thought you loved can change into a monster at any moment in time. Unfortunately it’s a lesson I learned the hard way, and now will never forget.
We had been together for seven months and I could not have been happier. However last year around December my entire world was turned upside down. Bryan was visiting as usual while he had time off and we were planning on spending the day together. I was up at eight and ready to go. We were walking along the boulevard hand in hand and everything felt perfect. The way his fingers tickled my palm and his arms wrapped around my waist feeling like he would never let go. Every breath he took I could see in the blistering cold air. We talked about everything that was happening in our lives, how I had missed him while he was on the road, how is family was doing back home. His laugh when he talked about his older sister always made me smile like a child, and when he talked about how he had missed me I could not help but have my cheeks turn bright red. I didn’t think anything could ruin the way I felt at this moment.
Butterflies flew in my stomach every time he looked at me. No one understood how much he really meant to me, Bryan was my best friend and he knew everything there was to know about me and I knew everything about him, or so I thought and I was naïve to think that forever was real. The hours flew by and we did nothing but talk. We ran into some of my friends and so I introduced them, thinking everything was fine. As they walked away the bright look in his eye that always took my breath away was no longer there. I was looking at nothing but a cold statue. His chin buckled like it did when he was angry, only for the first time he was angry with me. My head was running a mile a minute. I replayed everything back to myself. What had I done? His voice no longer soothed me but made me stiffen with some sort of fear. All that I knew was about to change.
We walked back to the car, the hand that was tickling my palm moments ago was hidden away in his pockets. The steps that were in sync with mine were longer and heavier and I had to hurry in order to keep up. He said nothing. Not one word. The confusion filled my head and I could not think of anything to say. What could I say? I was unsure of what I had even done. All the times he had done something wrong, the drugs, alcohol, all those times I was there for him, all the times I sat there worried about him and now I was on the other end. Only, I knew I had done nothing wrong. His door slammed with a bang that felt so loud that I think any bird still lingering around was now on its way to migration in the south. I opened the door and sat in the seat, frozen. My mind was telling me to get out of the car. Something wasn’t right, I needed to leave. But, I couldn’t. I sat there like a child that had just been scolded by their parent. I stared at him and his eyes did not rise to meet mine. The boy I loved was no where to be found. I was sitting with the devil and I was willing to do so.
The silence was not breaking, and the tension level was unmeasurable. Why didn’t I leave? Just get out and let him cool off. No one was around, everywhere I looked there was nothing but nature. It was beautiful out, the way the wind was moving the light snowflakes through the air, it was my favorite type of weather. Inside the car his temperature was boiling. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly I could see his hands turning white. His soft lips that was graced mine resembled those of a rabid animal. My throat closed up when I first tried to speak. I got the courage to open my mouth and finally say something. “I’m sorry” I said, with a agonizing need for him to say something back, “I don’t know what I did, but whatever it was I’m-” and then it happened, the butterflies that once fluttered in my stomach were dead.
I grabbed hold of my face like it had just been burned with a match. He looked at me with no emotion, no feeling, just a cold heartless empty shell. My cheek burned and my eye stung as if I had just been blinded. My hand shook as I looked at it for the first time. The small red drops on my finger tips, the man I loved had turned on me. A single tear scrolled down my cheek slowly, it felt as if it would never fall from it. Everything slowed down and I could not wrap my head around what was happening. His voice broke through everything “I’m so sorry sweetheart” his voice broke mid way through what he was saying. The softness in his eyes returned, the warmth of his touch, he was there with me. He looked like an innocent child that realized they had done something wrong. I could not get the image out of my head. The look on his face, the raise of the hand, the impact, the blood, the burning. Everything flashed before me. The moment we met, the first date, first kiss, everything we had all ending with the hand.
My fall back into reality was not a pleasant one. My love for him was erased and I knew that my “Mr. Perfect” was only half of who he truly was. That day I saw the monster, the demon; come out of him. I cried myself to sleep for days until the feelings wore away. Now he’s nothing but a memory of something I once had, something I once thought I could not live without. I realized that people have many layers to them, but some people are just evil. I realized that I need to want someone rather than need them, because once you need someone or something it has control over you. The bruises on my face faded but the bruise on my heart is still there, and is a constant reminder of what people can be like. My mother gave me advice a long time ago that if I was unhappy it was my own fault and that I should never depend on someone else to make me happy. I wish I had listened to her sooner, but now I live by what she said, and I have never been happier.
